STOP... SPIRAL DOWN

By Shana Simmons

When I first created STOP as a solo, I wanted to challenge myself physically as a performer. As I delve deeper into the nature of depression and what manifests as thoughts, there is a natural expression of movement that continues to be abusive to the body. Though beautiful to watch (in my opinion), after this rehearsal my back was tight, I had bruises in odd places, and it seemed my left shoulder was inwardly rotated days later. As a choreographer, I have to assess what reads to an audience constantly and what sections I'm developing as we go. These first phrases are simply thoughts in my head right now that will start to become more concrete with what I'm trying to say through movement.

I've heard it described as a "spiral downward" when you're caught in your own thoughts about depression that can lead to suicidal thoughts. I tried to develop a phrase that captured this idea. We will play with timing and emotion to fine tune what I want it to express for the performance. It feels good to express and create through the body. There is nothing like it.

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.